To help guide you into the right direction, thus avoiding the "God, do NOT invite your coworker next year" syndrome...here are a few bullet points to commit to memory:
*The invitation said 7....arrive at 7. Not 6:45, not 7:45...punctuality tells your host(ess) that you respect them, their house, and you paid attention to their request.
*Now, this is a tough one, but really important - consider the gathering, and consider the guest list - notice, nobody on the list has kids, but you do? It may be tough - but, find a sitter! Everyone thinks little Suzy is adorable, and little Bobby's a slick one, but I don't want him sticking his grubby fingers into the crab dip, and finger-painting on my newly redone, designer wallpaper. Please!
*What's that smell? Mmm...dinner's ready! Yum! - Do me a favor buddy...chew with your mouth shut...CHEW.WITH.YOUR.MOUTH.SHUT! Capisch?!
*It pains me to even have to say this, but, do not belch, blow your nose, pick at your teeth, or lick your fingers at the dinner table! Heck, I'll even go as far as saying don't do any of that at any point while you're a guest! If you absolutely have to, excuse yourself, step into the restroom, have at it, and come out, prim and proper.
*Your brother's wife can't cook...her dogs won't eat her food...we know it, he knows it, she probably knows it as well, but, she's been nice enough to invite you over - evaluate the menu quickly, see what's most palatable, and take a serving - don't ever mention that something doesn't taste good - it's rude, and hurtful.
*Don't EVER smoke at the dinner table, or, inside the house, unless you know for sure that the host does so, and even then, be courteous of the other guests, and step outside or to the balcony, have your puffs, slowly killing yourself because smoking kills (I digress), and return to the party.
DO:
*Bring a small gift ...yes, you, Mr. Cheapskate! Times are tough, we know, but you were invited to a party, and you can probably dig up $2.00 in change in your sofa and old pant pockets - and as long as there's "2 buck Chuck", you have no excuse - it's the thought that counts - doesn't have to be Godiva chocolates, anything will do, and shows your host that you are thankful and took a few moments to do something special in return for them.
*Be respectful of other guests at the celebration. Your old war stories might be (likely aren't...) entertaining to the crowd for the first 2 minutes, but 45 minutes later, take a look around - The host has gone outside to work on the Christmas lights, the hostess is wrapping up leftovers, Bob is snoozing on the sofa, Carol is trying to find any possible surface in the house to dust, and everyone else is trying to find a way to leave the party early. This is your cue to dodge the shrapnel that is your war story, and let someone else speak!
*Offer to help clean up after dinner. Chances are, your offer will be kindly rejected, and you'll be asked to go join the others in the festivities, but, it shows great manners and thoughtfulness.
*Be mindful of the time. It's hard to stay on track when you're having a great time, but you don't want to overstay your welcome! Look for clues that your hosts may be getting a little tired. Chances are, others may want to leave as well, but don't want to be the ones to break up the party. When it's time to go, it's time to go.
There are plenty more things to list, but I wanted to keep this fairly short, so it's easy to remember. I hope you all have an amazing Holiday season, and a wonderful New Year. I leave you with these last few reminders for guests, and the host:
